#It made me smile :)

"...It's all wrong.
By rights we shouldn't even be here.
But we are.
It's like in the great stories. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why..."


<3

#The "Cure".

Scarlet flash across aqua stripe

Offset by porcelain skin -

All it takes is a silver swipe

To break through the canvas stretched thin.

Emotion and secret are laid out to bear

In a code of insufferable pain.

Alone and feeling unable to share

It pours out in crystal salt rain.

There is no prevention, no permanent cure

For the dark cloud that seeps through the mind

Until we begin to remove the obscure -

To listen, and see what we find.

~Pressure~

So at the moment everyone's stessing about revision and exams and what to do with the rest of their lives and there's just so much pressure to do the right thing. You know:

high grades = good thing
passed exams = good thing
loads of revision = good thing
do well at uni = good thing
get a good job = good thing
have a family = good thing

And it's like everyone is constantly under all this pressure to have this perfect life where it's all good things and any bad decision is, like, worthy of eternal damnation or something. It basically made me wonder about how we'd ever get through all the pressure without people beside us step by step - friends or whatever, you need someone with you that you can relate to.

And with all this pressure, I don't want to disappoint my parents, especially my dad. However much he lets me down at weekends or doesn't turn up for things, he's still my dad and I love him no matter what. I'm not gonna lie - he is effin intelligent, like a proper maths genius and sometimes it feels like I need to be as good as him to kind of uphold his reputation.
He was always clever so he was pushed into doing things even before the Scottish equivalent of GCSE's. At Uni as well, he was signed up for extra subjects and throughout his whole life he'd always done well at it all. But my dad's an introvert: he didn't socialise that much and had barely any good friends. After all the pressure from how well he was expected to do, in his final year of uni he stopped trying. Kind of like an "Eff you." moment. In just one year he went from getting a First to a 2;2.

I don't want to let down my dad by doing the same thing - giving up because I can't take the pressure anymore. So I have to do well for my dad. Simple as.

It's that kind of pressure that makes life such a struggle sometimes. I guess all we can really do is give it all we got and then even if it doesn't end up as great as we wanted or planned, at least we know that we tried our best. I think though, that the most important thing when you're under pressure is to find some way of getting away from it all. Preferably with company: being able to joke about all the stress and know that there's someone going through it with you can make it a whole lot more bearable.



*apologies for all the above cheesiness*