Things don't always come out quite as you expect.

The Ones Providing The Loving.

Wednesday 26 May 2010

~Judgement.~

The judging looks and hidden smiles

As I walk down a path stretched miles

By the humiliation I always feel -

My identity I attempt to conceal.

Once, I was there, in that other group’s place,

Trying to hide the growing grin on my face

As a girl in a kilt, with a blazer to match,

Had the courage to walk through our prided patch.

All I saw then was smugness and a look of disgust

When she strutted past us like we were part of the dust.

But now I know how that girl must have felt

Outcast, embarrassed, by the judgement we dealt.

More than anything I long to utter the words-

To turn, and say “Sorry, but haven’t you heard?

“I’m not rich, I’m not posh, I live right round there

“And, this might be shocking, but it’s not all that rare

“For someone like me to have been someone like you

“Free, independent, always speaking the truth.

“Just because I wear this and go to school here

“Doesn’t mean I meet up to go hunting each year,

“Or drink champagne in buckets and eat caviar for tea -

“All it means is my stupid gay school has a fee.

“I’m no different to you, and I don’t think I’m better -

“For Christ’s sake we even have identical sweaters!”

But I can’t and you think

That I look like a prick

So as I walk past I must gather my pride

And hold my head high as I strut past your side.

Sunday 23 May 2010

#Yeah, that would be nice :)

I may have been expecting it but I still didn't know I was going to say yes until you asked.

And now...

Yes.
If I can trust my memory spending an evening with you will be nice indeed. :)

Thursday 20 May 2010

~Fight~

"You know what makes us so British? Spunk, spirit and tea." :)

Spunk perhaps not so relevant but no matter who you are, everyone has a natural fighting spirit. *The tea of course comes once the fight is settled and everyone needs to relax in front of the old telly box.*
Even if you're a pacifist you need something to keep you going when you're spurned for not being patriotic or mocked for being a 'wuss'. There's a fire inside all of us that gets us through the hard days, the mind-numbingly boring weeks and the troubling hours. Fair enough, it's closer to the surface in some but even it's buried beneath layers of emotion or defences it's still there to keep us strong and to stop us giving up.

When you look back at your life there will always be decision you regret making. But giving up is one mistake we don't always have to repeat. Of course there are times when letting things go is hard but necessary but sometimes it just takes that one last, exhausting, final push and you can end up in a much better situation.

Don't give up: listen to that fight within you and keep going until you know there's nothing else you can do. Even if it doesn't work you'll know you did all you could.

:) x

Monday 10 May 2010

~Wishes~

If only they'd come true.

Why must we constantly dream of things that are unattainable?
It isn't joyous.
It isn't fun.
It never leads to happiness.

Wish on this, wish on that... why?
To retain hope of a better future - hope is all we have.

Sunday 2 May 2010

~Change~

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But, because I knew you
I have been changed
For Good.

Change cannot be avoided and to think that we can remain the same for our entire lives would be beyond the far realms of naivety. Besides the natural change we must go through on the journey from infant to adult, would it ever be realistically possible to never alter your behaviour, your personality or your morals?

Children have an innocence that is very easily lost, but in losing it we mature and grow. It could be said that we need to lose that defined sense of right and wrong in order to understand the ways of the world.
Relationships, of every kind, are so much more intricate as we age: and if we look, the difference between friendships at childhood, teenage-hood (is that a word?), adulthood and elder-hood (I really am making up words now) is extensive. Whilst they lose their simplicity they become deeper, more personal and ultimately richer. My point is they change.

Yes, change can be bad. It can be horrendous. But sometimes we have to look beyond what is happening during said change and instead focus on the result. If the result is worse then the change can be altered - perhaps, just slowed to begin with, but change is not permanent - things that can go wrong can eventually be fixed with hard work and love but at the same time good things can fall apart if we take them for granted.